lalalaa

so, life is grand. reading a hell of a lot lately. just about half-way through A Scholar of Magics by Caroline Stevermere, having already completed a College of Magics. enjoying those v much. exactly the sort of fantasy i enjoy. realistic characters, enjoyable action. love and loss and drama and humor.

also reading louise rennison's georgia nicolson series. i started these aaaaaaages ago. back in highschool, even. and when i was in borders on sunday with jamaila and don, i saw that there had been three more books put out that i didn't know about. so i bought two, and i will probably pick up the third this weekend sometime.

new apartment is delicious. i also splurged [monthly...] and got cable. SO MUCH LOVE FOR DISCOVER CHANNEL. SHARKWEEK. DUDE.

and work is going swimmingly, too.

like i said, grand.

<3

HA

so, did not end up moving my things in earlier. in fact, was made to move all of my things plus clean in a day. an evening, even, since we got started around 4:30, and weren't finished scrubbing until 10.

yeah. not so pleased, thanks. i'm not going to raise a stink, though, as i've got to live in the building still, and it's done so i'm just relieved about that.

I LOVE MY APARTMENT OKAY. IT IS FANTASTIC.

*pleased sigh* however, i won't have internet there until the tenth, so...

...it probably won't look much different around here.

HA.

new lease on life!

well, livingspace, anyway. i'm moving! upstairs! the new place is gorgeous and perfect and has the most delightful kitchen oh em gee. it's at least twice the size of my current place, and that suits me down to the floor as i really really need the space.

i simply cannot wait. i'll officially be moving the first of july, but it seems to be the best idea to start moving my things a little earlier. my landlady is agreeable, and it means i'll have time to really clean my old place for the new tenant. there are two years worth of dust in the closets that i would really like to get rid of. and i never did clean the windows. i will before i leave, though, because that's just nice, and i don't want my new neighbor to think i am a slob.

even though i am.

lalala new apartmentcakes!!! so pleased!

poetry dump.

the spring and summer of 2005 was a very creative, important time for me. i travelled to europe, i moved to baltimore, i made friends and tried a million new things. and for some reason, very little of the poetry i wrote at that time ever made it beyond my documents folder.

so, here are two short pieces that i've just skimmed through and decided that i still like them, after all this time.

recent
march 2, 2005.
everyone needs their secrets.
things to tuck away inside little boxes with blue roses and yellow paper.
my secret has a silver hook that rests
on the back of my spine

there are reasons we keep silent when we want to scream
ways to make the ground stop rushing
there are people to love
in between

i just need to get there.

sensory that
march 4, 2005
i am happiest by the way of my
flowers, they smell like
i think of you in
how does the sky
where does it all
who, who takes this
from me.

there is a smile that you
we sleep in the
we love we love we love

have you ever seen a
freckle by the freckle that is
scent is the strong way
remember the way we talked.

the woods and the sky.

i had a dream last night that i was riding a horse through a wet forest. leaves kept dripping water on my face and neck, and we were riding very fast away from something. i don't know what was chasing us, or what we were escaping, but i didn't feel scared. i was resigned, as though i knew that either we wouldn't get away and i'd have to go back to whatever it was, or that i didn't really want to be running away. perhaps it was something i knew i had to do.

the horse was grey, i think. and i remember that my stirrups were really ornate, and there were bells on the harness.

then we burst out of the forest and went to this little white house on a hill in the clearing, and i dismounted and led her to the back. there was a fire pit and the sky was grey, and the trees were so green and lovely. i remember walking on red clay tiles, and tying my horse to a ring on the side of the house. i was dressed in a diaphanous green dress and a smart rusty-brown coat that had lots of buttons going up the front. there was someone sitting at the fire pit, but before i could see their face, i woke up.

i feel like i've seen that place before, but i can't even begin to guess where.

peel

peel

sometimes my pulse
thrums visible
under my jaw
wing-beating in my throat

and my skin
feels like tissue paper
stretched over my chest and
collar bones.

if i scratch
will it burst thrumming
over paper breasts

confetti sprinkling
paper cranes and stars?

my favorite song of the moment, also - a birthday.

kate nash - the nicest thing. link to youtube page. and here are the lyrics.

suuuuch a lovely song. i think that everyone has felt that way, and it was so nice to find a song that i like that says everything i'm thinking at the moment.

...aaaaaand that's all for my pining! on to more pleasant things!

my birthday was so delightful! i went up to delaware for the weekend, and had a blast hanging out with mah folks. my momma and i went shopping on monday for UNMENTIONABLES and she completely spoiled me. then we went to marshalls, and i bought many sweaters. also, a t-shirt. but mostly sweaters. AND I AM NOW DRIVING THE JETTA FULL-TIME. exciting!

then, last night, jamaila and don took my friend michael and me out to Roy's in the harbor. IT WAS SO DELICIOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA. i got a martini, and i only managed to spill some of it down my shirt. well, down my boobs, as my dress was loooow. i had the opakapaka, and it was heavenly. then, they brought me my chocolate souffle out with a wee candle and "happy birthday, molly" written on the plate in hawaiian! so nice!

all in all, wonderful. yaye twenty-three!

an evening at home

this was taken several months ago, but is very typical behavior for the both of us. i do the reading, lester does the napping. it's a symbiotic relationship.

jamaila came over today and helped me clean my shit-hole of an apartment. we got a tremendous amount done, and i should be able to finish it all up over the course of the week. i've also got to do a lot of food shopping for the PARTAY on saturday. we'll be grilling and drinking and eating delicious times.

i'm super excited.

then my momma came down and brought me my very own mini weber grill! it is ADORABLE!!! i hart webers, and i am SO happy that i have my own, now. i just don't know where i'll keep it. maybe my landlady will let me keep it in the garage or basement.

momma and i ate at egyptian pizza in towson, and had desert at papermoon. <3

yaye morning

this was the scene this morning, when lester decided he wasn't comfortable simply curled up next to me.



i love my dog.

also, i continue to find it SO WEIRD that i only have freckles and moles on ONE SIDE OF MY FACE.

WTF.


i saw apocalyptica last night! i wore a corset! michael wore leather pants! we looked awesome!

EICCA TOPPINEN IS THE HOTTEST THING TO COME OUT OF FINLAND OKAY.

jaysus, i thought i was going to DIE of his hotness. he is truly too delicious for words. and he has shifty eyes, because he is hot.

hot. hot hothot.

i am a happy happy fish.

spriiiiing

my birthday is creeping up on me. i'll be twenty-three. it's an odd, inbetween birthday. the flush of excitement at turning twenty-one is long over, and my next milestone of twenty-five is still the better part of two years away. i'm back where i've spent most of my life - limbo. too mature for friends my age, young enough yet to still get disparaging remarks in the company of my friends. ["you're just a baby!"] at twenty-three, alice paul was being arrested as a rabble-rouser in england, already having several college degrees under her belt. elijah wood had already made all three LOTR movies.

i do so enjoy the spring. it's the freshness of the air, the way that the greyness of the weather makes the trees and bushes and grass seem that much greener. i love the swollen silver look of the sky, and waking up to the sun, and savoring the perfect soft evenings that i can lie on my fire escape and watch the sky.

i can even see some stars, despite the light pollution of down-town.

and soon it will be summer, and it will get hotter, and less pleasant, so i am going to enjoy this springtime lightness for as long as i can.

of my own design

there is a fish
in my mouth
it swims with my teeth and sleeps under my tongue.
it is blue and red and made
of glitter and string.

there is a worm
in your mouth, there is a worm.

attempts at poetry. it's a gorgeous night, i'm going out on my fire escape for a while. <3

flaaaaaaaaan

today has been a truly momentous occasion! while in my local giant, i discovered that they sell FLAN in SNACKPACKS.

did you read correctly? FLAN SNACKPACKS. INDIVIDUAL SERVINGS OF FLAN.

i am the happiest fish in this sea that is baltimore.

in geek news, my D&D group took down a pit fiend last night. the highest of all our levels is an 11. WOOOO we only have to get rid of three more and a red dragon. walk in the park. :\

lalalalala flan in a cup!

taxes and junk

i love living in the city, but it means my taxes are hiiiigh. not only that, but work hasn't been taking enough out of my paycheck, so i owed $1231 for my federal and state taxes together this year. not the most pleased dutiful taxpayer, here.

but, when i went to the post office today, they had postal workers stationed around the building grounds with letter boxes so you could just run up and drop your mail in. the man who collected mine as i drove past just had the biggest smile on his face, like he was genuinely pleased to be standing out in the hot sun all day, collecting envelopes from disgruntled people. he grinned and i grinned, and it made me feel v. positive about the whole situation.

yes, i had to fork over a lot of money, but i'm sanguine. maybe i'll see that money again one day when i'm old and rheumy. if obama gets elected so my social security will be safe. it means there might be less potholes on the street for driving my jetta on. kids may get to have free lunch. the school down the street might get a new playground.

it means i can call the police and know that someone will come and help me.

so, i'm happy to pay my taxes, and i'm happy knowing my city's postal workers are enthusiastic about their jobs.

i'm just happy.

five am.

i went to bed at six last night. perhaps i shouldn't have taken my nyquil right after i got home from work...

so then i woke up first at three, dozed for a while, tossed and turned, and finally at four-thirty, i got up and took lester outside. the air is gorgeous and soft and just the slightest bit on the chilly side. i came back upstairs and hopped into a looooong hot shower, and now i am dripping gently and catching up on my blogroll.

it's friday, which means jeans, and tomorrow i am brunching with jamaila and don, and then going up to delaware. WHERE I AM POSSIBLY RETRIEVING MY JETTA WOT WOT WOT. SO excited about that car, you have no idea. i can drive a stick-shift! ME. woooo!

who wants to go joy-riding in my spanking new[ish] v6? it'll be a short ride, because i am not made of gasoline, but joyous all the same!

also, am seeing apocalyptica in may with michael and possibly jeff. fun! haven't broken out my apo CDs in a while, and i feel i should do so to get properly in the mood. WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?

lalala fridaycakes.

okay, so i might have been melodramatic...

a good solid day of bed rest and medicinal popsicles, and i am feeling much better now, thanks. i did NOT start the antibiotics, which i am glad of, because that means i would have had to finish the entire course even though they were unnecessary, and if i hadn't, i'd be adding to the rest of the anti-biotic resistant ARSEHOLES out there.

to avoid a rant, just read this: do not use antibacterial hand-wash, lotion, or waterless sanitizer [unless its' alcohol-based]. IT DUN DO ANY GOOD.

lalala, you can tell i am feeling better when i get indignant. <3

i hart nyquil.

uuuugghhh

it gets worse and worse. i went to the doctor this afternoon, and came out with a prescription for antibiotics, which she told me to take only if i develop a fever.

then i went home and passed out for several hours. afterward, i was totally loopy and crazy. i went to the grocery store to get my prescription and some medicinal popsicles and various crunchy delicious things.

now i've got a fever and i am PATHETIC. i am loaded to the gills with nyquil. i was reading the box, and i realized i possibly shouldn't have taken any since it's only been four hours since my last dose of adderoll. then i decided i didn't care, and i can't wait to pass out again. not going into work tomorrow. staying home and hacking in bed.

*phlegm*

bring out your dead

oh god oh god i have the plague. minus buboes and, you know, death. BUT IT FEELS JUST AS BAD. and i'm here at work, because i couldn't justify staying home as i do not have a fever.

wtf, lungs?

i think i probably should have worn a more substantial coat yesterday, what with all my runnings around. last night i went to bed with a bit of a tickle in my chest, and this morning i woke hacking and groaning. now i'm drinking some detox yogi tea. i would have grabbed my Temple of Health tea, but i was rushing this morning, and forgot. also, it's loose, and i'd have had to grab a basket or even my cast-iron teapot. WHICH, by the way, is exactly the teapot that Inara has in Firefly. it's just the wee version, for one/two cups.

i blame this affliction of the respiratory system entirely on jamaila.

*pathetic look*

pearls!

if anyone out there is secretly planning to propose to me sometime soon, the chances of me saying yes are greatly improved if you use this ring.

just sayin'.

i'm not even that picky, when [if?] i get married someday i don't even need a ring, but i want that one, and i think it's sweet and darling.

lalalala

dog day.

jeff from across the street called me just as i was leaving work, asking if i wanted to go to the dog park at wyman. he was taking his roommates dog, misty, and lord knows lester needs to get out more.

so we went! it is a delightful park! we ran into an old roommate of his, who's got a FANTASTIC german shepherd rescue called Shadow. there was a hilarious little corgie zooming around who looked exactly like a bullet on her little short leggies. and there was the biggest german shepherd i have EVER SEEN. came up to mid thigh on me, and was just solid and huge. sweetest temperament, too. he knew how to play with the little ones really well, and was sweet to lester.

lester was less than impressed, but i think it did him some good on the whole, so we'll be going back for sure.

then, later, i walked down to the grocery store with michael and his jack russell terrier, finrod. finrod is a special boy, alright. he's SUPER happy to meet you, and he just LOVES you so much can he PLEASE eat yer face omg omg omg omg.

i came home and lester looked at me suspiciously before deigning to lick my foot. he's zonked out now, curled up inside a pair of my jeans.

i love dogs.

random thoughts for a cloudy monday...

people keep leaving umbrellas at my desk today. i can understand one being forgotten, but then there was a second and now a third. the second one is still wrapped in plastic, even.

i may have to make-off with the plastic-wrapped one, it's a jumbo wind-proof, and i like a big, imposing umbrella.

my friend Nina has herself a few vintage/antique umbrellas and uses them. i think that's neat; why collect something that is made to be used and then put it on a shelf? my favorite one of hers is a sharp navy and white polka-dot number with a graceful curve at the tip.

i don't even think it's raining at the moment, but i suppose one should always be ready. the only time i ever remember to carry an umbrella is if i am going to a job interview. don't ask me why, i think it is because a friend once told me i should look like i am well-prepared for such occasions. the rest of the time, i deal with the soggy hair and damp shoes. adds to my allure.

i want to be playing chess right now. weirdly. i just don't want to be working. i want to be napping. or reading. or dozing and reading. ooh, dozing, reading, and drinking a cup of tea. mmmmmmmmmmm, delicious lazy cloudy day activities. except i can't, because i am at work, and i've got to deal with all the douche-bag people that come in here.

and yet, i'm also a lot more apathetic than i used to be. i suppose.

lalala, new car-cakes. i'll be bringing the jetta down here after one more trip to delaware [the 'rents] to practice. i don't know why, but learning stick was really hard to do. i developed some kind of mental block against it, and i couldn't figure out how to get moving from a stand-still. it took the motivation of a sweet ride to break the barrier, and now i'll be able to cruise around town in my 2000 Volkswagen v6 jetta. although, there won't be much cruising, as gas is ridiculous. i foresee much shuttling to work in my future.

am reading a new science fiction series by Kage Baker. The Company. I just finished In the Garden of Iden, and it tore my heart neatly out and danced around on it for a while. achingly beautiful writing. the descriptions were delicious, and the character development perfect. Mendoza's transformation from jaded naivete to bliss to heartbroken back to jaded is astounding in its perfect reality and believability.