Five Years in Baltimore.

People look at me funny when I say that Baltimore is my favorite city in the world - even above Paris. It’s true, though. I may have been raised in Delaware, but I am growing up in Baltimore. I am experiencing things here that I never could anywhere else. I am living on my own, making my own money, making my own way here. I am knowing wonderful, beautiful people who could never exist in another city in the world because that is what Baltimore does.

It gets inside you and makes you who you are. If I had to define myself without Baltimore, I don't know if I would like who I would be.

Everyone needs to know a city that does that to them.

And here I have lived for five years. They have been, by far, the best five years of my entire life. and I know I am still young, and I have not been everywhere in the world, but I know that before I lived in this city I was sad until something made me happy, but here I am happy first and longest.

I look out my window and feel a surge of pleasure to see the rooftops and light posts and signs of Waverly and Charles Village in the distance.

Baltimore has its faults, for certain. High drug use, high STD infection, high gang-related deaths. But that in itself does not define the people inside. We are people. We are nurses and artists and doctors and writers and actors and lovers and haters and people with dreams. We are Baltimoreans. And anyone who looks at me funny for that can't know what it is to be in love with a city.

I love you, Baltimore.

Twenty-five.

So, it's my birthday on Wednesday. I am turning twenty-five.

o.O

I'm really trying to keep it together, here, but guys. I am turning twenty-five. This is kind of a Deal! I am one-quarter of a century old! I can rent a car!

In five years I will be thirty!

But I'm not going to let myself dwell on that. Besides, I welcome aging with open arms and affection. I am so ready for my age to match my age. Does that make sense? I'm talking to all those folks out there whose friends group is five to ten years older than you. The ones that go to parties and avoid talking about your age for as long as possible. All you kids who get, "But you're just a baby!" and "Holy crap you're so young!" whenever we let it slip that, actually, we weren't alive when that movie/album/cartoon came out, sorry.

It's one of my pet peeves, I guess.

But anyway, gettin' older. I really am enjoying it, even the surreal moments.

[Holy crap, twenty-five!]

Happy Things April Showers [for which I hope you have an umbrella...]

Oh hi there. It seems this blog is quickly deteriorating into a HAPPY THINGS ALL THE TIME blog. I don't have a problem with that, do you? I didn't think so.

Carry on:

• Forearm tattoos on the Facilities Fellas. [Lots of ex-navy here at the JHH.]
• Fancy pudding in the cafeteria.
• Time travel. [I really love it, guys. I love it so hard.]
• Ice cream.
• Calendars.
• Discount Easter candy. [Malted-milk eggs, guys. Nuff said.]
• Veronica Mars. [MYSTERY.]
• Space. [I know I say this basically every time, but really truly, I want to marry space. We would have the most adorable nebula children.]
• Pearl-pink nail polish.
• Avatar, the last Airbender.
• My beard.
  
• White cotton sheets.
• Cinnamon gum.
• Thunderstorms.
• Soup. [this one is Lisa's fault for making me want soup at 9:00 on a Thursday morning.]

Alright, I've got some STUFF TO DO this weekend. Namely, Friday night, My pal Penny is flying in from Seattle and we are going to see GOGOL BORDELLO with Devotchka opening. I am terribly excited. It will be my third time seeing GB here in Balmer, and they have never disappointed me. Last time, Man Man opened for them, and it was one of the most amazing concert experiences of my life.

Blah blah someone gushing about music. Anyway.

I've joined a writing group, and my first meeting with them is on Sunday. I am excited and nervous! I need to write a one-page story, and I think I will ROCK THAT NOISE because my forte is short and sweet.

Well, there could be blood, so maybe not so sweet. Whevs.

Moving right along: I did a massive clothing purge last weekend with the help of Rosemary, and I am getting rid of two lawn and garden-size bags of clothing. This is in addition to the several garbage bags I got rid of in October. I think I'll stick to an October/April purge schedule. Seems to keep my wardrobe in check nicely.

Wow, this got crazy boring. I'm wrapping it up now with a big bow of LOVE. Just for you. Don't throw it away, now, I made it special.

Happy Things - Take that, March!

In like a lion, out like a soggy lamb:

• Juice. [Anything except grape, because it makes my teeth taste purple, and I dun like that.]
• Criminal Minds [I want to pack Dr Reid lunch every day and write him little riddles on his napkin. WHAT. DON'T JUDGE ME.]
• Dragons.
• New friends.
• Old friends.
• Serial Comics on the Internet.
• Tattoos.
• My roof.

• Glass beads.
• Other people's babies.
• The rain. [I soooo wanted to stay home and listen to it in bed today, but I made myself get up and go to work. Being an adult kind of sucks sometimes. But, other times, there's cake for breakfast. So, I guess it balances out.]
• The letter "F". fortuitous, fragrant, fecund, favorable, flighty, free.

I might post something with actual substance soon, but there are no promises. I have the attention span of a toddler that missed its nap.

Crappy Poetry Monday!

Hair

that's my hair
in your hand
but you're a hundred miles away and I don't remember you ever
touching me

so maybe it's not
maybe it's just a wig that you bought
at the store

and

maybe I should be less trendy.

It's really not that hard. No. Really.

[In case UBALT is researching me, I did rework part of this post as my application essay. I hope you don't mind - I thought it was relevant. Please accept me!]


Oh for the love of mustard and onions.

Okay, listen. I am not a fancy scientist with a fancy degree in fanciness. I'm a girl who grew up in a household that had subscriptions to Discover magazine and whose parents and sister are giant nerds. Armed with that background and the ability to read, I think that's about all the qualifications I need to say:

CLIMATE CHANGE IS FRIKKIN' REAL, GUYS.

Lorrie Goldstein? You're a freaking idiot. That may be disrespectful of me, I mean you are my elder and all that, but YOU ARE A FREAKING IDIOT.

I don't even know how I came across that article, such is the violence of my rage about it, because it's certainly not the only one of its kind.

Anyway, Let's take a look at the evidence, shall we? Go on, I'll wait.

Done? Annoyed that I chose Al Gore? TOUGH NOOGIES.

I know that things of this scale move slowly, so the evidence is difficult to see when you glance out the window. And to some, the recent ridiculous snow that kept me housebound for ten freaking days may seem like everything is okay.

But guys. C'mon. When has the Mid-Atlantic seaboard EVER had that much snow in a single week? That alone should tell you that things ain't quite right.

And, look, I'm not above conceding that perhaps this is part of Earth's natural cycle. I mean, we all know that the dinosaurs lived in a world that looked much different way back when, and judging by how many of their bones Montana and France has kicked up, I'd hazard a guess that it was pretty planet-wide. [We also know that flipping rocks from space came around and screwed things up, so perhaps that argument is also moot.]

HOWEVER. We do not need to help it along.

I'm not so arrogant as to assume that Humans are the be-all, end-all of evolution in the universe. I am sure that there are races of beings out there in the black pointing and laughing at our naked, fleshy bodies. They're probably watching us play with our dinky computers and ride in our cute, clunky cars like so many lumbering cows.

But we are here right now. And since we are dominant enough of this planet that we will build shit pretty much anywhere we like, we have a responsibility to its upkeep. You don't take a dump in the middle of your living room and then set it on fire, guys.

And if you do, well. You might want to stop that, cos it's a fire hazard and also kind of gross. Unless you live in a yurt and that's fuel for something. In that case, alright, carry-on, but I think that cow dung is more efficient.

ANYWAY. I suppose my point in this all is: Whether or not you believe in Global Warming [which you totally should because IT IS FREAKING HAPPENING, but I digress], pollution is real and is a real problem.

I mean, what will you be hurting by changing some things, except the profits of power companies? They need to change, too, and nothing is going to encourage them to do so if we keep plugging in stuff. So suck up the extra few bucks and buy those energy efficient light-bulbs. Carry your groceries home in a cloth sack. Recycle your damn newspapers. Support local farms. Do all that crunchy hippy junk, because the littlest bit really is helpful.

Because, if you're not going to listen to the fancy scientists with their fancy degrees, then perhaps you should start listening to people like me.





Further reading:

This interactive article from the Washington Post is v. illuminating, and covers a lot of ground regarding the Chesapeake and how we are screwing it up. You should read it.

This comic is a lovely commentary on how a lot of us are feeling about the whole thing. It's two pages, so make sure you click the arrow at the bottom.

And my whole post is basically just reiterating what Phil Plait [one of my favorite people ever, y'all] said here, BUT HE IS RIGHT SO READ THAT OKAY. HIYAH.

*pant* *pant* I hate when I have to get all Miss Piggy on stuff.

ETA: September 2011 - HOW ARE PEOPLE NOT TAKING THIS MORE SERIOUSLY!? GET OFF YOUR ASSES, PEOPLE, MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Happy Things - February edition.

Wot is making me happy, in no particular order:

• Dinosaurs. All of them. [Except Raptors cos that shit ain't no joke.]
• Shaun White. [I want to invite him to a party and then maybe make out a little bit, but not in front of anyone because I am a Lady.]
• Space.
• Noodles.
• Navel oranges.
• The Doctor.
• Mascara.
• Sleep.
• Paris:

• People who apologize profusely when they step on your toe in the elevator.
• The letter Q. quandary, quilt, quiescent, quirky, quixotic, quaint.
• People to worry about.
• Chopsticks.
• My dog.

File your entries in the comment box provided. ♥

Another strange one...

So, the other night, among other insane things, I dreamt that I got a tattoo of a star that was in two parts across my forearms [on the outside, like keanu's constantine]. And my apartment was inside this really old, like from the 1800s, department store, and I had to crawl through a small space and up a ladder to get to it. At one point I kept locking the door, and the landlady was chiding me that other residents needed to get in, but I told her that they were all monsters and we had to keep them out. She just laughed and unlocked the door. I tried to hide in this room that was in the middle of the hallway and was enclosed by glass-paned french doors all the way around, but I couldn't keep the curtains covering all of the windows, and marble statues kept appearing and just stood there, facing in.

Then there was a horrific bit where some dude that I was dating [I think his name was Michael or John, something generic, but I've never seen him in real life before.] fell down a hill on his face and got really hurt and I had to go on a wild goose chase to find medicine for him, which ended up being a bowl of blood and a bowl of water. All the while I was being chased by some awful monsters that looked like people who had been wrapped in thorny vines with strips of grey silk covering their eyes and mouths and they yelled this horrible low howl that sounded like a million bells all going at once.

And I was running around the shadier parts of Baltimore, but I felt safer there than in the brightly-lit places. The dirtier and grubbier it was, and the more buildings that were boarded up, the more comfortable I was being there.

I don't remember when I woke up. I think at that point I was just running and running and running.

Happy things - January Edition

Things that are making me happy today:

water.
avocado.
Gold Bond ^tm ultimate healing skin therapy cream.
my shell necklace:


the internet.
my foot.
coffee.
my Craig Ferguson mug.
the letter P. perpendicular, preposterous, periwinkle, portly, pie, prologue.
this picture wot my Pops took.
beta fish [i wants one!].
science.

What about you lot? What's making you smile today?

I gots a tattoo, y'all!

Well, you all know about Ina by now. What you may not have known, is how important Astrology was to her.

She was born on July 14th, and was therefor a Cancer. We used to have long evenings of pouring over her Astrology books, reading about our birthdays and marvelling at the descriptions of us.

She wrote poetry, too, and some of her goofier stuff is located here, which she hadn't updated it since 2004.

Anyway, when I was thinking of tattoos that I would like to get, Ines came to mind, and then the idea of a crab for Cancer. As I thought about it more, I realized that, yeah, Baltimore loves crabs, too, and I love Baltimore.

And so.


[Done at the Baltimore Tattoo Museum, by Josh Griffin.]

I love you, Ina. Now you are under my skin. <3

First Spam!

I got my first spam comment, y'all! HOW EXCITING.

And for a female urination device, no less! I HAVE ARRIVED.

Brownies!

I made these the other night, and then bragged about them on Twitter. My pal, Meghan, requested the recipe, so here we go!

Brownies Cockaigne [Slightly modified from the Joy of Cooking recipe.] - 30 brownies, but you'll probably eat the whole tray that night, anyway.

1/2 C butter
4 oz unsweetened baking chocolate
4 eggs
1/2 tsp salt
1 C white sugar
1 C brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 C flour

In a double-boiler, melt chocolate and butter. Let cool.

Beat eggs and salt until light in color and foamy. [I often do this by hand, and it is pretty rewarding if you are feeling the need to let off some steam. Otherwise, a mixer works just fine.] Continue beating and gradually add sugar and vanilla until well creamed.

With a few swift strokes, combine cooled chocolate mixture into the eggs and sugar by hand. Before uniformly colored, fold in 1 cup flour.

Pour batter into a greased and floured 9x13" pan and bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees. Brownies are done when toothpick inserted in center comes out almost clean.

Notes: For a fudgier brownie, I like to use half white sugar and half brown sugar. And for a holiday kick, try mint extract instead of vanilla. Recipe works really well with Bob's Redmill TM gluten-free, all-purpose flour.

I keep baking chocolate on hand at all times for the express purpose of whipping up a batch of these at a moments notice. If you ever come over to my house for dinner, chances are, these are going to be for dessert.

dreams in review.

the following are transcripts of my recent dreams as e-mailed or chatted to various friends after they occurred.

5/24/09, as e-mailed to K.

so there was this crazy kind of sea monster that was terrorizing swimmers on some tropical beach. so we were part of this elite task force that dressed up like the monsters [by wrapping ourselves in seaweed from neck to legs and then wearing a weird coconut hat. I NEVER SAID THIS MADE SENSE] and swimming around, killing the monsters with crazy knives.

and then we were getting out of the water, and i was naked for some inexplicable reason, and jaime hyneman was off gathering everyone's towels up, and so i went over to get mine, but it got caught on his head and we fell over.

the end.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

7/26/09

R: morning chica
Me: i had really weird dreams last night
a sampling
R: oh?
Me: nina already had a baby a few days ago, and is now having a second
R: I'm sure she would be thrilled to hear about that one :)
Me: two: that i caught the baby, but couldn't put it on her belly because she was too far away on the bed
three: that she had the baby and i was feeding it cranberry juice
R: LOL
Me: four: that the priest who married my sister and brother left the priesthood so he could ask me out
R: ROFL
Me: five: that we were defending my grandmothers house from marauders, only they were really breaking in a few houses down.
six: i was crating lester in a window sill
R: like in a crate in a windowsill?
Me: no, like the window well of a basement window
R: huh
Me: i know
i only left him in there for a second
because even my dream self knew it was ridiculous
R: I love your subconscious so hard, even when it is weird.

11/4/09, as e-mailed to R and K.

i just woke up from a nap where I was dreaming that I was part of SG-1 [can you guess what i was watching before i fell asleep?] and there was a mission that was a little hazy, but i think we were swimming at some point and there were goa'ulds. Anyway, then we were eating lunch and i was piling all sorts of weird stuff on my tray and all I really wanted was pudding.

So. I'm going to make some pudding tonight.

11/23/09, as e-mailed to R.

last night i dreamed that I bought Cam a whole bunch of underwear [cotton boxer-briefs are cannon!] and t-shirts in super-girly colors. He was sweet about accepting them all, and then he noticed that I was wearing my M-9 [because i was totally on sg-1, duh] and he scolded me because we weren't on a mission.

I let him take it out of my holster [twss], and then we played catch in an alleyway behind my apartment building with a football. There may have been unnecessary tackling.

Then somehow he morphed into Jay Smooth, and he kept picking me up by my arm and leg and swinging me around in circles.

Bzuh? Totally posting that on my twitter to see if he responds. bahahahahaha

<3 happy monday!

12/15/09, as e-mailed to R.

last night, I dreamed that I went back in time to see my grandparents a year before my grandfather died and I accidentally let it slip that he'd be dead soon, and he just looked at me sadly and we went for a walk.

I remember hugging my grandmother and feeling like I was really tall and lumbering compared to her [which is accurate, because she was a wee slip of a thing.]

It was really. soothing, sort of. I was early to work, anyway.

There are millions more that I never wrote down, but babbled out to various people over the phone. Like the one where I was the leader of a band of survivors of the Zombie Apocalypse, and I was driving an SUV through a parade of Zombies playing brass instruments.

Or the one where I really had to pee, but couldn't find a bathroom that didn't have a group of people clustered around the toilet so I finally gave up and dropped trou in front of a bunch of strangers.

You know, the usual.

And never brought to mind...

Insert obligatory year-end reflection post:

So, 2009 kind of rocked. And it kind of blew. Which is, really, what I like to see in a year. I don't like all ups, because that means there will be too many downs later. I like a good mix.

A recap:

Lester went through his first bout of congestive heart failure, and gave me a few grey hairs in the process. Emergencies never occur at two o'clock in the afternoon on a Saturday, y'all. It's always four in the morning when you stayed up too late to watch random crappy videos on the internet the night before.

Anyway, then he got better, or at least we figured out how to keep him sailing on in his little furry body.

My pal Penny came to town from Seattle to see our intrepid Commander in Chief step into office, and we had a fantastic week kicking around. I ate a million pounds of Pocky.

Then I went and visited my sister and brother-in-law in Portland. I had the most marvelous time kicking around in one of the nicest cities on the planet. Like, really nice. Like, if Baltimore and Los Angeles got into a fight, Portland would be around to make sure we didn't kill each other and maybe make us cookies afterward. It was delightful.

Watchmen disappointed me, but it's cool. I forgive you, Watchmen. You were a good movie and all, but I'll take the book any day.

I met a dude, and we dated for a bit, and then we weren't dating anymore, and it's all gravy. It was basically the most casual thing in the world, and we're both so laid back that it was pretty much just one day we were hanging out and then another we were seeing other people. Easy peasy.

H1N1 hit, and my work life got CRAZY. I worked some overtime, and made cookies [that's how I cope] and I tried to keep my nurses sane. We got through it, obvs.

Then I had a birthday! It was lots and lots of fun, and my Dad and I spent that weekend driving all over Maryland for blacksmithing adventures. A delightful time was had by all.

My cousin got married! I had a quarter-life crisis! The world continued to spin unaided!

AND THEN SILAS WAS BORN. He is the cutest little blob of human that was EVER CREATED. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CANNOT STAND IT. I get to babysit for him on Saturday, y'all, and I cannot WAIT.

I had some strange dreams and went on Vacation. Garrett County is GORGEOUS, y'all, and I recommend it for a relaxing time away from reality. I WAS ON A BOAT.

Lester had an episode, but he's fine now, too. I guess I'll be on the lookout for those every six months or so. Crazy dog.

I did a guest post on Zaftig Chicks! My site traffic increased by maybe two people! Wooo!

And then Ina died, and it still kind of sneaks up on me every once in a while. I'll listen to a song that we used to love, or someone will say something that reminds me of her so much that I sort of space out and lose it for a minute. There's nothing in the world that can prepare you for something like that.

So, autumn kind of blew through in a haze of grief and sourness. I really tried not to be down, but when patients at work are insane and you're working long hours and the sun is steadily creeping away, it's tough.

And then Jesse and I helped that lady on the street, and things kind of... lifted. Maybe it was the rush of endorphins, or the knowledge that I did something right, or learning that there are other people in this messed up, glorious city that will stop what they are doing and pick you up off the sidewalk.

Whatever it was, I felt right again. I'm back in my own skin.

Then it snowed. A LOT. I hate snow. Then it melted, and then snowed this morning again, and I have a PARTY TONIGHT, dammit, and I refuse to kow-tow to the weather. IMMA PUT ON A FANCY DRESS AND LIVE IT UP.

So there.

Christmas was wonderful - I got to see my sister again and I missed her so much you have no idea. I got fabulous new toys [ipod touch omg omg omg] and drank some nog, and things are okay.

Tonight is going to be fantastic, and that's just all there is to it.

I love you, Baltimore. The world is great, too, but Baltimore has my heart forever.

<3

Pickled Rind and Fruit.

Today I found a treasure.

When my Grandmother's house was being emptied, I asked for one of her copies of The Joy of Cooking. My mother gave me the 1951 edition, where bacon drippings were a regular ingredient of corn bread, and you had to mix your own baking powder.

I was thumbing through it, looking up a recipe for macaroons, when I found a slip of paper tucked inside the pickles.

It was my Grandmother's notes, for 2 1/2 pounds.

2 1/2 C water
2 1/2 C vindegar
5 C sugar
7 1/2 in stick cinnamon
20 cloves

I don't know which recipe it was meant for, tomato catsup or corn relish or apple chutney. It may have been watermelon pickle or pickled peaches.

All I know is that it was written on the back of a dental extraction form [my grandfather was a dentist, though it's not from his practice.] and it smells like their house did.

Merry Christmas. <3

Ughhh.

this is my life right now. They had to plow THREE TIMES today, and it's still coming down.

I hate the snow. I work for a hospital, and therefor I don't get snowdays. If this doesn't improve by Monday morning, I'll have to hike to the bus in a foot of snow.

I DUN WANNA DO IT.

Thankfully, I've got SG-1 and tea [buckets and buckets of tea omg] and my dog is sleeping under the covers on my feet. Carry on.

blah blah twitter blah blah.

I want to blog, but I don't want to complain about my bad day, which is all I can think of to blog right now, so I'll just paste all of my tweets from the month of November instead. All I took out were my replies.

Oh, and I have no idea how to put this behind a cut. You're welcome. [eta: I totes figured out jumps, so you're welcome AGAIN.]

Karma gets you pastry.

Twenty-five things for which I am thankful, in no particular order:

- Coffee mugs from California.
- My cellular telephone.
- My laptop computer.
- My favorite turquoise necklace.
- My zombie messenger bag.
- My imagination.
- Science Fiction.
- My ID badge that gets me into doors marked "Authorized Personnel Only" because that's a secret thrill even after five years.
- Scrapple.
- Secret corridors.
- Goofy action movies.
- Eggplants.
- My Kitchen-aide five-speed hand-mixer with milk-shake attachment. It probably has a proper title, but I use it for milk-shakes. So there.
- Hyphens.
- Punctuation in general, even if I abuse it horribly.
- My health.
- Words.
- People.
- Old Navy. It's actually a problem. A delightful, brightly-colored problem with clean lines and thoughtful design.
- My family.
- My dog.
- Music.
- My friends. Even the ones that make me want to pull my own hair out. They keep it interesting.
- Dark, hoppy beer.
- Ramen noodles.
- Love.

Obviously this is just a random assortment. I'm thankful for basically everything in my life, even the inconveniences and complications. It builds character, and I am all about character development.

***

EDIT: I've taken this story down in the hopes that I can get it published. Thanks for the wonderful comments on it, you guys are awesome.

Window

Portland Chinese Gardens, January 2009

what I'm telling you is

So. That happened.

I've been struggling a little, with what I want to say here since. I've opened the post window several times over the last few weeks, only to stare at it for a while before closing it and walking away. I don't have a problem being trite and zany on Facebook or Twitter. That's my stream of consciousness; that's what flies out of my mouth during a conversation.

And now, nothing seems important enough to blog about. But I want to tell anyone who will listen.

Should I tell you about how I saw a man cradling a paper crane in his hand on the elevator? Or the fire extinguisher that was just sitting in the middle of the sidewalk outside of my office yesterday? Should I tell you about the countless trips I've made to the lab because of the swine flu testing my office does? How about the time that I got the wrong salad dressing? Or when I went the whole day with my shirt inside-out?

None of it means a damn thing. And that's okay. We're okay. I'm okay. We buried Ina on a Thursday, and I wore purple.

There's always more story to tell.

And, you know what, World? You crazy, magnificent mess of humanity? I love you. Every single one of you.

<3