pffffft.

i don't know. i just don't know. i've been feeling restless lately. i went to california for a week, but that didn't scratch it. i cut my hair, but i still feel charged. like i should start running and see where i end up. this is a bad plan while living in the city, because the problem is, i don't know where i would end up. baltimore is filled with places that you really don't want to end up.

but i feel like i've got to do something. i've got lots of ideas swimming around in my head. ideas for stories and maybe screenplays. i can't get any of them out, though. i'll get a few lines, or even paragraphs, and then all i can do is just imagine where it will go, but the words won't work. i think best when i can talk things out, but i hate to just chatter at people.

isn't the adderoll supposed to be helping this? i know why it isn't. i take it at work, and then i can't write because i'm meant to be working. i don't want to take it on the weekends, i don't want to be dependent.

i don't know. i just don't know.

transitions and such...

i made it to and from californiyaye safely. photos to follow eventually. there was a joyous reunion with mah dogg [see previous post] in the airport whilst waiting for my luggage. bizzy said she enjoyed walking him in past a whole lot of people. :D

then i zoomed up to delaware yesterday to say goodbye to my sister. she and her husband are leaving for portland tomorrow with all of their things crammed [rather spaciously] into a truck. there were many tears. i love my sister very very much, and i am going to miss her like the dickens.

this just means i will have to save up lots and lots and go to portland at every opportunity. silver-lining and all.

good things:

my dad sent me home with a huge sack of books, and they are calling my name. i think i shall have an early night in bed with literature. i started an unfinished life by mark spragg, and am about three-quarters of the way through. it is amazing and delightful, and i absolutely love it. more on it later, when i am finished.

my mother sent me home with a huge sack of food. lunch for the rest of my life homg! my brother-in-law's grandmother makes the most fantastic pound cake to ever pound, and i think i shall have a piece with some tea. :D

my dog is fluffy and loves me, and i love him.

my sister still lives in the US, so that immediately makes her more accessible than if she lived in guam or something. right. i must try not to cry every minute.

bad things:

i will not post bad things, because to dwell is to be a wallower, which i refuse to be. i am not called a life-bomb for nothing!