the woods and the sky.

i had a dream last night that i was riding a horse through a wet forest. leaves kept dripping water on my face and neck, and we were riding very fast away from something. i don't know what was chasing us, or what we were escaping, but i didn't feel scared. i was resigned, as though i knew that either we wouldn't get away and i'd have to go back to whatever it was, or that i didn't really want to be running away. perhaps it was something i knew i had to do.

the horse was grey, i think. and i remember that my stirrups were really ornate, and there were bells on the harness.

then we burst out of the forest and went to this little white house on a hill in the clearing, and i dismounted and led her to the back. there was a fire pit and the sky was grey, and the trees were so green and lovely. i remember walking on red clay tiles, and tying my horse to a ring on the side of the house. i was dressed in a diaphanous green dress and a smart rusty-brown coat that had lots of buttons going up the front. there was someone sitting at the fire pit, but before i could see their face, i woke up.

i feel like i've seen that place before, but i can't even begin to guess where.

peel

peel

sometimes my pulse
thrums visible
under my jaw
wing-beating in my throat

and my skin
feels like tissue paper
stretched over my chest and
collar bones.

if i scratch
will it burst thrumming
over paper breasts

confetti sprinkling
paper cranes and stars?

my favorite song of the moment, also - a birthday.

kate nash - the nicest thing. link to youtube page. and here are the lyrics.

suuuuch a lovely song. i think that everyone has felt that way, and it was so nice to find a song that i like that says everything i'm thinking at the moment.

...aaaaaand that's all for my pining! on to more pleasant things!

my birthday was so delightful! i went up to delaware for the weekend, and had a blast hanging out with mah folks. my momma and i went shopping on monday for UNMENTIONABLES and she completely spoiled me. then we went to marshalls, and i bought many sweaters. also, a t-shirt. but mostly sweaters. AND I AM NOW DRIVING THE JETTA FULL-TIME. exciting!

then, last night, jamaila and don took my friend michael and me out to Roy's in the harbor. IT WAS SO DELICIOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA. i got a martini, and i only managed to spill some of it down my shirt. well, down my boobs, as my dress was loooow. i had the opakapaka, and it was heavenly. then, they brought me my chocolate souffle out with a wee candle and "happy birthday, molly" written on the plate in hawaiian! so nice!

all in all, wonderful. yaye twenty-three!

an evening at home

this was taken several months ago, but is very typical behavior for the both of us. i do the reading, lester does the napping. it's a symbiotic relationship.

jamaila came over today and helped me clean my shit-hole of an apartment. we got a tremendous amount done, and i should be able to finish it all up over the course of the week. i've also got to do a lot of food shopping for the PARTAY on saturday. we'll be grilling and drinking and eating delicious times.

i'm super excited.

then my momma came down and brought me my very own mini weber grill! it is ADORABLE!!! i hart webers, and i am SO happy that i have my own, now. i just don't know where i'll keep it. maybe my landlady will let me keep it in the garage or basement.

momma and i ate at egyptian pizza in towson, and had desert at papermoon. <3

yaye morning

this was the scene this morning, when lester decided he wasn't comfortable simply curled up next to me.



i love my dog.

also, i continue to find it SO WEIRD that i only have freckles and moles on ONE SIDE OF MY FACE.

WTF.


i saw apocalyptica last night! i wore a corset! michael wore leather pants! we looked awesome!

EICCA TOPPINEN IS THE HOTTEST THING TO COME OUT OF FINLAND OKAY.

jaysus, i thought i was going to DIE of his hotness. he is truly too delicious for words. and he has shifty eyes, because he is hot.

hot. hot hothot.

i am a happy happy fish.

spriiiiing

my birthday is creeping up on me. i'll be twenty-three. it's an odd, inbetween birthday. the flush of excitement at turning twenty-one is long over, and my next milestone of twenty-five is still the better part of two years away. i'm back where i've spent most of my life - limbo. too mature for friends my age, young enough yet to still get disparaging remarks in the company of my friends. ["you're just a baby!"] at twenty-three, alice paul was being arrested as a rabble-rouser in england, already having several college degrees under her belt. elijah wood had already made all three LOTR movies.

i do so enjoy the spring. it's the freshness of the air, the way that the greyness of the weather makes the trees and bushes and grass seem that much greener. i love the swollen silver look of the sky, and waking up to the sun, and savoring the perfect soft evenings that i can lie on my fire escape and watch the sky.

i can even see some stars, despite the light pollution of down-town.

and soon it will be summer, and it will get hotter, and less pleasant, so i am going to enjoy this springtime lightness for as long as i can.