getting ready for halloween [photos]

i'm throwing a fancy dress partay! i'm so excited. i'm actually throwing the party because i wanted an excuse to wear the costume i thought up the other day. i'm going to be amphitrite! i love greek mythology.

i'm going to wear a chiton with lots of strips of different colors of green and blue and i'm going to use shells as shoulder-broaches. i'll use some blue make-up to paint swirls and things on my face, and lots of shimmery glitter on my arms and legs. i experimented with my hair the other day, and this is the result:

those are strings of freshwater pearls that i bought from my pals over at anapurna


a little closer in. i'll have to take a less-blurry shot of my earrings. i got them at the ren fest last weekend and i ADORE them.




this was me trying to take a photo of the back. i didn't have a great angle, but i liked the photo anyway. it's got a sort of movement to it.


i'm going to dress lester up as a fish. HA. GET IT. i am really excited about this costume, you have NO IDEA.

bloody dreams

a few nights ago i dreamt i had to walk home in a pair of jeans and a sheet wrapped around my torso. it felt similar to the dreams i have where i'm naked and have to get home with dignity intact.

the streets were actually hallways like the ones in my old highschool, only dingy and rather post-apocalyptic. the ceilings were falling down and there were sparking wires hanging all over the place. the air was difficult to see through, like it was smoky.

all i knew was that i had to get my sword to survive the walk home. only, my sword WAS at home. so i was walking straight and purposeful, my head held high. i passed groups of people gathered in the corners. my apartment was up a ladder through a doorway to a classroom. i climbed up and got my sword and when i got back down, i had to fight the clusters of people. they had no weapons, but they were in groups of at least five or six.

I unsheathed verdigris [my sword. i name things, dun judge.] and started wailing on them and i woke up mid-slash. i was clutching my pillow and breathing fast, sweat pouring off my skin.

what to dreams of unspeakable violence mean, anyway? am i repressed? do i need to start taking fencing lessons? or better yet, boxing?

fall fall fall

autumn is without a doubt my absolute and most favorite season. i like brisk walks bundled into a jacket and scarf. i like drinking coffee outside with a book wrapped in a blanket. i love the way my skin feels and the lightness of the air.

it is a completely gorgeous day outside. i want to lug my knitting basket up to the roof and finish bizzy's scarf. i want to take my books out on the fire escape and read all afternoon.

soon i'll be able to put lester in his sweaters. i am NOT one of those people that dresses up my dog because it's cute. i genuinely do it because he is skinny and the sweater really does help him stay warm in the cold. i wish he would fatten up a bit, but no amount of free feeding seems to pack on the chub. he's just a skinny boy. right now he is napping on my feet.

yarn! books! coffee! my afternoon awaits me. tomorrow, we're going to the ren fest. my first ever! cannot wait.

fall!

<3

beef?

oh MAN, do i want a steak right now.

carry on.

greetings from the mother-land

i am ...not in baltimore right now. HA. *mysterious*

not really. there isn't much mystery to delaware. i am, however, going to get my non-existent booty up here in a minute and take advantage of tax-free shopping at borders. i've started reading the Gideon Cutpurse trilogy, and i must go and purchase the second installment.

it's absolutely thrilling, and everything i look for in a sci-fi/fantasy story. adventure, intelligence, emotion. my father once told me that all good sci-fi has to have an emotional detail. he said that's what makes Aliens so amazing, because on top of all the [truly fantastic] action, the story-line of Ripley and Newt really pulled you in.

I've always agreed with him on that.

because it doesn't always have to be romance. in fact, it shouldn't always be romance, because there is so many sorts of love out there. it's probably my biological clock, but these days i enjoy family stories more completely than romance.

anyway. off to deprive some children of their literature. dun judge. besides, when pressed, i just say it's for research.

थिस थिंग कीप्स ट्रांस्लातिंग इन्तो हिन्दी...

does that make any sense to anyone? I don't remember it translating directly into hindi before, but maybe I changed something?

HALLO. life is still grand. i cleaned up my kitchen last night, which was vastly satisfying. who knew that scrubbing the sink could make you feel so nice. i ran the dishwasher, i loaded it again. now I just need to come up with a better solution for my ridiculous amount of recycling. obvious answers would be a yellow bin of my very own, but i seem to be v. lazy about going out and getting one. I know they offer them on saturdays in various place, I guess I just need to find out when and where.

lalala bottles galore. they're all freaking yuengling, too, since don brings a case of the stuff to just about every D&D night. we do a pretty good job on them all, though, since there are about seven of us that play. still. lots of bottles. i am tempted to ask if my neighbor down the street wants any of them, as they have several green glass bottles on their fence top.

i'm also going to make a compost bin soon! imma start vermicomposting with some red wrigglers. i am v. excited, as i feel extremely guilty throwing away tea bags and fruit rinds and the like. now aloysius [palm] and louisa [pothos] and patience [pony-tail palm] will have delicious compost and casting tea to eat. i am also going to see if my neighbors kid wants to see how it's done. he's about five, so it should be fun activity.

in other things: i am waiting on tenterhooks for fall. i LOVE fall of all the seasons, and i want very much to be able to wear my scarves and my neat velvet jacket and some socks. not all the time socks, though, as they annoy me after a while.

it's doubly-nice because i am not responsible for any of the yardwork, so the anxiety of raking is removed entirely. HA. i am still relishing the fact that i dun do yardwork any longer. [in my first apartment, it was my duty as first-floor tenant. never. again.]

anyhoo. good times.

life update thus far:

got home from vacation last night. twere SO much fun. we laked and tubbed and horsed and all sorts of other -eds. my favorite was the horsing. i had a delightful white mare called Dolly. so it was Dolly and Molly and we had an Understanding. she wanted to be in the front of the line, but jamaila's horse [marvin? melvin? i can't remember] doesn't like dolly and bites her butt which then makes dolly kick him, so we wisely put dolly after him and she just kept making a dash for it when we sped up.

totes fun.

other life things: i've decided to go back to massage school. i am super excited about it, and i feel like it's definitely where i belong right now. i miss that feeling i had every day after school. like i was really learning, and that i am capable of tremendous things. it's no small task to take someone's pain and discomfort away, and i have always felt that it's something i should be doing for the rest of my life.

whether or not this will still lead to nursing school, i don't know. i want to take one day at a time and see how i go.

tomorrow is a cookout at jammer and don's, and i don't know what i will wear! clothing, of course, but what? is it going to rain? is it going to be sunny? I SHALL PREPARE FOR ALL EVENTUALITIES.

i enjoy cooking out. i enjoy cooking in, too. i enjoy cooks.

happiness all around. :D

things i am looking forward to in the coming months, in more or less chronological order:

weekend at my parents while they are off to portland.
opeth concert in october
halloween
thanksgiving with my parents
christmas
visiting my sister in january [trains! coffee shops! rain!]
WATCHMEN movie in march
maybe australia in april? i will try my hardest to get a ticket out there.
my birthday in may [24! DUDE AND WTF.]
various and sundry other events of importance.


i feel the need to throw a party soon. i like parties.

lalalaa

so, life is grand. reading a hell of a lot lately. just about half-way through A Scholar of Magics by Caroline Stevermere, having already completed a College of Magics. enjoying those v much. exactly the sort of fantasy i enjoy. realistic characters, enjoyable action. love and loss and drama and humor.

also reading louise rennison's georgia nicolson series. i started these aaaaaaages ago. back in highschool, even. and when i was in borders on sunday with jamaila and don, i saw that there had been three more books put out that i didn't know about. so i bought two, and i will probably pick up the third this weekend sometime.

new apartment is delicious. i also splurged [monthly...] and got cable. SO MUCH LOVE FOR DISCOVER CHANNEL. SHARKWEEK. DUDE.

and work is going swimmingly, too.

like i said, grand.

<3

HA

so, did not end up moving my things in earlier. in fact, was made to move all of my things plus clean in a day. an evening, even, since we got started around 4:30, and weren't finished scrubbing until 10.

yeah. not so pleased, thanks. i'm not going to raise a stink, though, as i've got to live in the building still, and it's done so i'm just relieved about that.

I LOVE MY APARTMENT OKAY. IT IS FANTASTIC.

*pleased sigh* however, i won't have internet there until the tenth, so...

...it probably won't look much different around here.

HA.

new lease on life!

well, livingspace, anyway. i'm moving! upstairs! the new place is gorgeous and perfect and has the most delightful kitchen oh em gee. it's at least twice the size of my current place, and that suits me down to the floor as i really really need the space.

i simply cannot wait. i'll officially be moving the first of july, but it seems to be the best idea to start moving my things a little earlier. my landlady is agreeable, and it means i'll have time to really clean my old place for the new tenant. there are two years worth of dust in the closets that i would really like to get rid of. and i never did clean the windows. i will before i leave, though, because that's just nice, and i don't want my new neighbor to think i am a slob.

even though i am.

lalala new apartmentcakes!!! so pleased!

poetry dump.

the spring and summer of 2005 was a very creative, important time for me. i travelled to europe, i moved to baltimore, i made friends and tried a million new things. and for some reason, very little of the poetry i wrote at that time ever made it beyond my documents folder.

so, here are two short pieces that i've just skimmed through and decided that i still like them, after all this time.

recent
march 2, 2005.
everyone needs their secrets.
things to tuck away inside little boxes with blue roses and yellow paper.
my secret has a silver hook that rests
on the back of my spine

there are reasons we keep silent when we want to scream
ways to make the ground stop rushing
there are people to love
in between

i just need to get there.

sensory that
march 4, 2005
i am happiest by the way of my
flowers, they smell like
i think of you in
how does the sky
where does it all
who, who takes this
from me.

there is a smile that you
we sleep in the
we love we love we love

have you ever seen a
freckle by the freckle that is
scent is the strong way
remember the way we talked.

the woods and the sky.

i had a dream last night that i was riding a horse through a wet forest. leaves kept dripping water on my face and neck, and we were riding very fast away from something. i don't know what was chasing us, or what we were escaping, but i didn't feel scared. i was resigned, as though i knew that either we wouldn't get away and i'd have to go back to whatever it was, or that i didn't really want to be running away. perhaps it was something i knew i had to do.

the horse was grey, i think. and i remember that my stirrups were really ornate, and there were bells on the harness.

then we burst out of the forest and went to this little white house on a hill in the clearing, and i dismounted and led her to the back. there was a fire pit and the sky was grey, and the trees were so green and lovely. i remember walking on red clay tiles, and tying my horse to a ring on the side of the house. i was dressed in a diaphanous green dress and a smart rusty-brown coat that had lots of buttons going up the front. there was someone sitting at the fire pit, but before i could see their face, i woke up.

i feel like i've seen that place before, but i can't even begin to guess where.

peel

peel

sometimes my pulse
thrums visible
under my jaw
wing-beating in my throat

and my skin
feels like tissue paper
stretched over my chest and
collar bones.

if i scratch
will it burst thrumming
over paper breasts

confetti sprinkling
paper cranes and stars?

my favorite song of the moment, also - a birthday.

kate nash - the nicest thing. link to youtube page. and here are the lyrics.

suuuuch a lovely song. i think that everyone has felt that way, and it was so nice to find a song that i like that says everything i'm thinking at the moment.

...aaaaaand that's all for my pining! on to more pleasant things!

my birthday was so delightful! i went up to delaware for the weekend, and had a blast hanging out with mah folks. my momma and i went shopping on monday for UNMENTIONABLES and she completely spoiled me. then we went to marshalls, and i bought many sweaters. also, a t-shirt. but mostly sweaters. AND I AM NOW DRIVING THE JETTA FULL-TIME. exciting!

then, last night, jamaila and don took my friend michael and me out to Roy's in the harbor. IT WAS SO DELICIOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA. i got a martini, and i only managed to spill some of it down my shirt. well, down my boobs, as my dress was loooow. i had the opakapaka, and it was heavenly. then, they brought me my chocolate souffle out with a wee candle and "happy birthday, molly" written on the plate in hawaiian! so nice!

all in all, wonderful. yaye twenty-three!

an evening at home

this was taken several months ago, but is very typical behavior for the both of us. i do the reading, lester does the napping. it's a symbiotic relationship.

jamaila came over today and helped me clean my shit-hole of an apartment. we got a tremendous amount done, and i should be able to finish it all up over the course of the week. i've also got to do a lot of food shopping for the PARTAY on saturday. we'll be grilling and drinking and eating delicious times.

i'm super excited.

then my momma came down and brought me my very own mini weber grill! it is ADORABLE!!! i hart webers, and i am SO happy that i have my own, now. i just don't know where i'll keep it. maybe my landlady will let me keep it in the garage or basement.

momma and i ate at egyptian pizza in towson, and had desert at papermoon. <3

yaye morning

this was the scene this morning, when lester decided he wasn't comfortable simply curled up next to me.



i love my dog.

also, i continue to find it SO WEIRD that i only have freckles and moles on ONE SIDE OF MY FACE.

WTF.


i saw apocalyptica last night! i wore a corset! michael wore leather pants! we looked awesome!

EICCA TOPPINEN IS THE HOTTEST THING TO COME OUT OF FINLAND OKAY.

jaysus, i thought i was going to DIE of his hotness. he is truly too delicious for words. and he has shifty eyes, because he is hot.

hot. hot hothot.

i am a happy happy fish.

spriiiiing

my birthday is creeping up on me. i'll be twenty-three. it's an odd, inbetween birthday. the flush of excitement at turning twenty-one is long over, and my next milestone of twenty-five is still the better part of two years away. i'm back where i've spent most of my life - limbo. too mature for friends my age, young enough yet to still get disparaging remarks in the company of my friends. ["you're just a baby!"] at twenty-three, alice paul was being arrested as a rabble-rouser in england, already having several college degrees under her belt. elijah wood had already made all three LOTR movies.

i do so enjoy the spring. it's the freshness of the air, the way that the greyness of the weather makes the trees and bushes and grass seem that much greener. i love the swollen silver look of the sky, and waking up to the sun, and savoring the perfect soft evenings that i can lie on my fire escape and watch the sky.

i can even see some stars, despite the light pollution of down-town.

and soon it will be summer, and it will get hotter, and less pleasant, so i am going to enjoy this springtime lightness for as long as i can.

of my own design

there is a fish
in my mouth
it swims with my teeth and sleeps under my tongue.
it is blue and red and made
of glitter and string.

there is a worm
in your mouth, there is a worm.

attempts at poetry. it's a gorgeous night, i'm going out on my fire escape for a while. <3

flaaaaaaaaan

today has been a truly momentous occasion! while in my local giant, i discovered that they sell FLAN in SNACKPACKS.

did you read correctly? FLAN SNACKPACKS. INDIVIDUAL SERVINGS OF FLAN.

i am the happiest fish in this sea that is baltimore.

in geek news, my D&D group took down a pit fiend last night. the highest of all our levels is an 11. WOOOO we only have to get rid of three more and a red dragon. walk in the park. :\

lalalalala flan in a cup!

taxes and junk

i love living in the city, but it means my taxes are hiiiigh. not only that, but work hasn't been taking enough out of my paycheck, so i owed $1231 for my federal and state taxes together this year. not the most pleased dutiful taxpayer, here.

but, when i went to the post office today, they had postal workers stationed around the building grounds with letter boxes so you could just run up and drop your mail in. the man who collected mine as i drove past just had the biggest smile on his face, like he was genuinely pleased to be standing out in the hot sun all day, collecting envelopes from disgruntled people. he grinned and i grinned, and it made me feel v. positive about the whole situation.

yes, i had to fork over a lot of money, but i'm sanguine. maybe i'll see that money again one day when i'm old and rheumy. if obama gets elected so my social security will be safe. it means there might be less potholes on the street for driving my jetta on. kids may get to have free lunch. the school down the street might get a new playground.

it means i can call the police and know that someone will come and help me.

so, i'm happy to pay my taxes, and i'm happy knowing my city's postal workers are enthusiastic about their jobs.

i'm just happy.