merry wikipedia

happy christmas, everyone. i just gave wikipedia some dough, and i thought maybe others would like to do so, as well.




we all know how it is with wikipedia. i could easily spend hours there. and you don't even realize you're learning.

<3 technology.

mah bro!

my brother in law has started a blog! hi vini!

happy solstice, everyone! tonight i ate lamb and had some red wine. can't wait for wednesday when i drive home to delaware and bury myself in my old bed.

ah, motherland.

lester is wearing a sweater.

neil gaiman?

i THINK i had a dream last night involving neil gaiman and a large grassy field.

i can't be sure, though.

and somewhat related: i may or may not be writing a romance novel that most certainly does NOT involve neil gaiman. in no way shape or form. his name is edward. completely different people.

>.>

4 for $40

so, i'm going to try an ongoing experiment. I'm going to put on dinner parties for four people, and spend only $40 on all ingredients and accouterments, including wine and flowers/table decor. i'm not a table-scaper, but i enjoy having a pretty thing in the middle, be it flowers or candles or a bowl of produce.

first on the list is roast chicken, sausage risotto, and spinach salad with walnuts, feta cheese and raspberry vinnaigrette, and some panna cotta with berry compote for dessert.

anyone of my pals interested? i'll be doing this more than once, so if i get a lot of interest, i'll try to mix up the company a bit. it should be really fun!

canada?

is no one else worried about what's happening in canada? does no one else see some startling similarities to our own dark past?

canada can't be allowed to go down the same shit-slide that we did. america got really awful really fast when someone who wasn't elected by the majority clawed his way into the highest office and started playing around with congress. do they not see the same thing happening to themselves? what the hell?

snacks!

fall makes me want to rub fresh produce all over my body. it's the best time for all sorts of delicious treats, and i dive into the harvest with both feet.

tonight, after dinner i had a cup of tea and an apple with almond butter. it looked so pretty, that i just had to take some pictures.


and, well. after. :D


yummy scrumboes!

and now for something completely different...

on a lighter note, how blitzed was diane sawyer during the returns? i half expected her to interrupt with something along the lines of: "And may I just call attention to how fantastic I look tonight?" because, she was slammin'. also, wearing ridiculous stripper heels.

go sawyer.

coherence, i suppose.

for the life of me, i will never ever understand how so many people can have such hatred in their hearts for their fellow citizens.

life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. gay marriage is not an unreasonable thing. we don't wish to pursue happiness by killing or stealing or harming our fellows. we simply want to celebrate our lives and loves without shame or persecution.

i pity every single person who feels their lives are so inadequate that they must seek to deny their peers something which brings their own families satisfaction.

we are all human beings.

well, that was nice while it lasted.

and then california had to go and fuck it all up.

SHAME ON YOU.

hey, neat.

first of all, i just want to say, THANK YOU OHIO. my father went out there this weekend, the motherland as i say, and walked door to door for Obama. i am unspeakably proud of him.

as i am unspeakably proud of my fellow americans. this is the most important moment in so many of our lives, and i am grateful that i have seen this day. that i was able to cast my ballot for the right person for the job.

i am just thrilled.

election day.

please go vote tomorrow.

*hopeful*

getting ready for halloween [photos]

i'm throwing a fancy dress partay! i'm so excited. i'm actually throwing the party because i wanted an excuse to wear the costume i thought up the other day. i'm going to be amphitrite! i love greek mythology.

i'm going to wear a chiton with lots of strips of different colors of green and blue and i'm going to use shells as shoulder-broaches. i'll use some blue make-up to paint swirls and things on my face, and lots of shimmery glitter on my arms and legs. i experimented with my hair the other day, and this is the result:

those are strings of freshwater pearls that i bought from my pals over at anapurna


a little closer in. i'll have to take a less-blurry shot of my earrings. i got them at the ren fest last weekend and i ADORE them.




this was me trying to take a photo of the back. i didn't have a great angle, but i liked the photo anyway. it's got a sort of movement to it.


i'm going to dress lester up as a fish. HA. GET IT. i am really excited about this costume, you have NO IDEA.

bloody dreams

a few nights ago i dreamt i had to walk home in a pair of jeans and a sheet wrapped around my torso. it felt similar to the dreams i have where i'm naked and have to get home with dignity intact.

the streets were actually hallways like the ones in my old highschool, only dingy and rather post-apocalyptic. the ceilings were falling down and there were sparking wires hanging all over the place. the air was difficult to see through, like it was smoky.

all i knew was that i had to get my sword to survive the walk home. only, my sword WAS at home. so i was walking straight and purposeful, my head held high. i passed groups of people gathered in the corners. my apartment was up a ladder through a doorway to a classroom. i climbed up and got my sword and when i got back down, i had to fight the clusters of people. they had no weapons, but they were in groups of at least five or six.

I unsheathed verdigris [my sword. i name things, dun judge.] and started wailing on them and i woke up mid-slash. i was clutching my pillow and breathing fast, sweat pouring off my skin.

what to dreams of unspeakable violence mean, anyway? am i repressed? do i need to start taking fencing lessons? or better yet, boxing?

fall fall fall

autumn is without a doubt my absolute and most favorite season. i like brisk walks bundled into a jacket and scarf. i like drinking coffee outside with a book wrapped in a blanket. i love the way my skin feels and the lightness of the air.

it is a completely gorgeous day outside. i want to lug my knitting basket up to the roof and finish bizzy's scarf. i want to take my books out on the fire escape and read all afternoon.

soon i'll be able to put lester in his sweaters. i am NOT one of those people that dresses up my dog because it's cute. i genuinely do it because he is skinny and the sweater really does help him stay warm in the cold. i wish he would fatten up a bit, but no amount of free feeding seems to pack on the chub. he's just a skinny boy. right now he is napping on my feet.

yarn! books! coffee! my afternoon awaits me. tomorrow, we're going to the ren fest. my first ever! cannot wait.

fall!

<3

beef?

oh MAN, do i want a steak right now.

carry on.

greetings from the mother-land

i am ...not in baltimore right now. HA. *mysterious*

not really. there isn't much mystery to delaware. i am, however, going to get my non-existent booty up here in a minute and take advantage of tax-free shopping at borders. i've started reading the Gideon Cutpurse trilogy, and i must go and purchase the second installment.

it's absolutely thrilling, and everything i look for in a sci-fi/fantasy story. adventure, intelligence, emotion. my father once told me that all good sci-fi has to have an emotional detail. he said that's what makes Aliens so amazing, because on top of all the [truly fantastic] action, the story-line of Ripley and Newt really pulled you in.

I've always agreed with him on that.

because it doesn't always have to be romance. in fact, it shouldn't always be romance, because there is so many sorts of love out there. it's probably my biological clock, but these days i enjoy family stories more completely than romance.

anyway. off to deprive some children of their literature. dun judge. besides, when pressed, i just say it's for research.

थिस थिंग कीप्स ट्रांस्लातिंग इन्तो हिन्दी...

does that make any sense to anyone? I don't remember it translating directly into hindi before, but maybe I changed something?

HALLO. life is still grand. i cleaned up my kitchen last night, which was vastly satisfying. who knew that scrubbing the sink could make you feel so nice. i ran the dishwasher, i loaded it again. now I just need to come up with a better solution for my ridiculous amount of recycling. obvious answers would be a yellow bin of my very own, but i seem to be v. lazy about going out and getting one. I know they offer them on saturdays in various place, I guess I just need to find out when and where.

lalala bottles galore. they're all freaking yuengling, too, since don brings a case of the stuff to just about every D&D night. we do a pretty good job on them all, though, since there are about seven of us that play. still. lots of bottles. i am tempted to ask if my neighbor down the street wants any of them, as they have several green glass bottles on their fence top.

i'm also going to make a compost bin soon! imma start vermicomposting with some red wrigglers. i am v. excited, as i feel extremely guilty throwing away tea bags and fruit rinds and the like. now aloysius [palm] and louisa [pothos] and patience [pony-tail palm] will have delicious compost and casting tea to eat. i am also going to see if my neighbors kid wants to see how it's done. he's about five, so it should be fun activity.

in other things: i am waiting on tenterhooks for fall. i LOVE fall of all the seasons, and i want very much to be able to wear my scarves and my neat velvet jacket and some socks. not all the time socks, though, as they annoy me after a while.

it's doubly-nice because i am not responsible for any of the yardwork, so the anxiety of raking is removed entirely. HA. i am still relishing the fact that i dun do yardwork any longer. [in my first apartment, it was my duty as first-floor tenant. never. again.]

anyhoo. good times.

life update thus far:

got home from vacation last night. twere SO much fun. we laked and tubbed and horsed and all sorts of other -eds. my favorite was the horsing. i had a delightful white mare called Dolly. so it was Dolly and Molly and we had an Understanding. she wanted to be in the front of the line, but jamaila's horse [marvin? melvin? i can't remember] doesn't like dolly and bites her butt which then makes dolly kick him, so we wisely put dolly after him and she just kept making a dash for it when we sped up.

totes fun.

other life things: i've decided to go back to massage school. i am super excited about it, and i feel like it's definitely where i belong right now. i miss that feeling i had every day after school. like i was really learning, and that i am capable of tremendous things. it's no small task to take someone's pain and discomfort away, and i have always felt that it's something i should be doing for the rest of my life.

whether or not this will still lead to nursing school, i don't know. i want to take one day at a time and see how i go.

tomorrow is a cookout at jammer and don's, and i don't know what i will wear! clothing, of course, but what? is it going to rain? is it going to be sunny? I SHALL PREPARE FOR ALL EVENTUALITIES.

i enjoy cooking out. i enjoy cooking in, too. i enjoy cooks.

happiness all around. :D

things i am looking forward to in the coming months, in more or less chronological order:

weekend at my parents while they are off to portland.
opeth concert in october
halloween
thanksgiving with my parents
christmas
visiting my sister in january [trains! coffee shops! rain!]
WATCHMEN movie in march
maybe australia in april? i will try my hardest to get a ticket out there.
my birthday in may [24! DUDE AND WTF.]
various and sundry other events of importance.


i feel the need to throw a party soon. i like parties.

lalalaa

so, life is grand. reading a hell of a lot lately. just about half-way through A Scholar of Magics by Caroline Stevermere, having already completed a College of Magics. enjoying those v much. exactly the sort of fantasy i enjoy. realistic characters, enjoyable action. love and loss and drama and humor.

also reading louise rennison's georgia nicolson series. i started these aaaaaaages ago. back in highschool, even. and when i was in borders on sunday with jamaila and don, i saw that there had been three more books put out that i didn't know about. so i bought two, and i will probably pick up the third this weekend sometime.

new apartment is delicious. i also splurged [monthly...] and got cable. SO MUCH LOVE FOR DISCOVER CHANNEL. SHARKWEEK. DUDE.

and work is going swimmingly, too.

like i said, grand.

<3

HA

so, did not end up moving my things in earlier. in fact, was made to move all of my things plus clean in a day. an evening, even, since we got started around 4:30, and weren't finished scrubbing until 10.

yeah. not so pleased, thanks. i'm not going to raise a stink, though, as i've got to live in the building still, and it's done so i'm just relieved about that.

I LOVE MY APARTMENT OKAY. IT IS FANTASTIC.

*pleased sigh* however, i won't have internet there until the tenth, so...

...it probably won't look much different around here.

HA.

new lease on life!

well, livingspace, anyway. i'm moving! upstairs! the new place is gorgeous and perfect and has the most delightful kitchen oh em gee. it's at least twice the size of my current place, and that suits me down to the floor as i really really need the space.

i simply cannot wait. i'll officially be moving the first of july, but it seems to be the best idea to start moving my things a little earlier. my landlady is agreeable, and it means i'll have time to really clean my old place for the new tenant. there are two years worth of dust in the closets that i would really like to get rid of. and i never did clean the windows. i will before i leave, though, because that's just nice, and i don't want my new neighbor to think i am a slob.

even though i am.

lalala new apartmentcakes!!! so pleased!

poetry dump.

the spring and summer of 2005 was a very creative, important time for me. i travelled to europe, i moved to baltimore, i made friends and tried a million new things. and for some reason, very little of the poetry i wrote at that time ever made it beyond my documents folder.

so, here are two short pieces that i've just skimmed through and decided that i still like them, after all this time.

recent
march 2, 2005.
everyone needs their secrets.
things to tuck away inside little boxes with blue roses and yellow paper.
my secret has a silver hook that rests
on the back of my spine

there are reasons we keep silent when we want to scream
ways to make the ground stop rushing
there are people to love
in between

i just need to get there.

sensory that
march 4, 2005
i am happiest by the way of my
flowers, they smell like
i think of you in
how does the sky
where does it all
who, who takes this
from me.

there is a smile that you
we sleep in the
we love we love we love

have you ever seen a
freckle by the freckle that is
scent is the strong way
remember the way we talked.

the woods and the sky.

i had a dream last night that i was riding a horse through a wet forest. leaves kept dripping water on my face and neck, and we were riding very fast away from something. i don't know what was chasing us, or what we were escaping, but i didn't feel scared. i was resigned, as though i knew that either we wouldn't get away and i'd have to go back to whatever it was, or that i didn't really want to be running away. perhaps it was something i knew i had to do.

the horse was grey, i think. and i remember that my stirrups were really ornate, and there were bells on the harness.

then we burst out of the forest and went to this little white house on a hill in the clearing, and i dismounted and led her to the back. there was a fire pit and the sky was grey, and the trees were so green and lovely. i remember walking on red clay tiles, and tying my horse to a ring on the side of the house. i was dressed in a diaphanous green dress and a smart rusty-brown coat that had lots of buttons going up the front. there was someone sitting at the fire pit, but before i could see their face, i woke up.

i feel like i've seen that place before, but i can't even begin to guess where.

peel

peel

sometimes my pulse
thrums visible
under my jaw
wing-beating in my throat

and my skin
feels like tissue paper
stretched over my chest and
collar bones.

if i scratch
will it burst thrumming
over paper breasts

confetti sprinkling
paper cranes and stars?

my favorite song of the moment, also - a birthday.

kate nash - the nicest thing. link to youtube page. and here are the lyrics.

suuuuch a lovely song. i think that everyone has felt that way, and it was so nice to find a song that i like that says everything i'm thinking at the moment.

...aaaaaand that's all for my pining! on to more pleasant things!

my birthday was so delightful! i went up to delaware for the weekend, and had a blast hanging out with mah folks. my momma and i went shopping on monday for UNMENTIONABLES and she completely spoiled me. then we went to marshalls, and i bought many sweaters. also, a t-shirt. but mostly sweaters. AND I AM NOW DRIVING THE JETTA FULL-TIME. exciting!

then, last night, jamaila and don took my friend michael and me out to Roy's in the harbor. IT WAS SO DELICIOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA. i got a martini, and i only managed to spill some of it down my shirt. well, down my boobs, as my dress was loooow. i had the opakapaka, and it was heavenly. then, they brought me my chocolate souffle out with a wee candle and "happy birthday, molly" written on the plate in hawaiian! so nice!

all in all, wonderful. yaye twenty-three!

an evening at home

this was taken several months ago, but is very typical behavior for the both of us. i do the reading, lester does the napping. it's a symbiotic relationship.

jamaila came over today and helped me clean my shit-hole of an apartment. we got a tremendous amount done, and i should be able to finish it all up over the course of the week. i've also got to do a lot of food shopping for the PARTAY on saturday. we'll be grilling and drinking and eating delicious times.

i'm super excited.

then my momma came down and brought me my very own mini weber grill! it is ADORABLE!!! i hart webers, and i am SO happy that i have my own, now. i just don't know where i'll keep it. maybe my landlady will let me keep it in the garage or basement.

momma and i ate at egyptian pizza in towson, and had desert at papermoon. <3

yaye morning

this was the scene this morning, when lester decided he wasn't comfortable simply curled up next to me.



i love my dog.

also, i continue to find it SO WEIRD that i only have freckles and moles on ONE SIDE OF MY FACE.

WTF.


i saw apocalyptica last night! i wore a corset! michael wore leather pants! we looked awesome!

EICCA TOPPINEN IS THE HOTTEST THING TO COME OUT OF FINLAND OKAY.

jaysus, i thought i was going to DIE of his hotness. he is truly too delicious for words. and he has shifty eyes, because he is hot.

hot. hot hothot.

i am a happy happy fish.

spriiiiing

my birthday is creeping up on me. i'll be twenty-three. it's an odd, inbetween birthday. the flush of excitement at turning twenty-one is long over, and my next milestone of twenty-five is still the better part of two years away. i'm back where i've spent most of my life - limbo. too mature for friends my age, young enough yet to still get disparaging remarks in the company of my friends. ["you're just a baby!"] at twenty-three, alice paul was being arrested as a rabble-rouser in england, already having several college degrees under her belt. elijah wood had already made all three LOTR movies.

i do so enjoy the spring. it's the freshness of the air, the way that the greyness of the weather makes the trees and bushes and grass seem that much greener. i love the swollen silver look of the sky, and waking up to the sun, and savoring the perfect soft evenings that i can lie on my fire escape and watch the sky.

i can even see some stars, despite the light pollution of down-town.

and soon it will be summer, and it will get hotter, and less pleasant, so i am going to enjoy this springtime lightness for as long as i can.

of my own design

there is a fish
in my mouth
it swims with my teeth and sleeps under my tongue.
it is blue and red and made
of glitter and string.

there is a worm
in your mouth, there is a worm.

attempts at poetry. it's a gorgeous night, i'm going out on my fire escape for a while. <3

flaaaaaaaaan

today has been a truly momentous occasion! while in my local giant, i discovered that they sell FLAN in SNACKPACKS.

did you read correctly? FLAN SNACKPACKS. INDIVIDUAL SERVINGS OF FLAN.

i am the happiest fish in this sea that is baltimore.

in geek news, my D&D group took down a pit fiend last night. the highest of all our levels is an 11. WOOOO we only have to get rid of three more and a red dragon. walk in the park. :\

lalalalala flan in a cup!

taxes and junk

i love living in the city, but it means my taxes are hiiiigh. not only that, but work hasn't been taking enough out of my paycheck, so i owed $1231 for my federal and state taxes together this year. not the most pleased dutiful taxpayer, here.

but, when i went to the post office today, they had postal workers stationed around the building grounds with letter boxes so you could just run up and drop your mail in. the man who collected mine as i drove past just had the biggest smile on his face, like he was genuinely pleased to be standing out in the hot sun all day, collecting envelopes from disgruntled people. he grinned and i grinned, and it made me feel v. positive about the whole situation.

yes, i had to fork over a lot of money, but i'm sanguine. maybe i'll see that money again one day when i'm old and rheumy. if obama gets elected so my social security will be safe. it means there might be less potholes on the street for driving my jetta on. kids may get to have free lunch. the school down the street might get a new playground.

it means i can call the police and know that someone will come and help me.

so, i'm happy to pay my taxes, and i'm happy knowing my city's postal workers are enthusiastic about their jobs.

i'm just happy.

five am.

i went to bed at six last night. perhaps i shouldn't have taken my nyquil right after i got home from work...

so then i woke up first at three, dozed for a while, tossed and turned, and finally at four-thirty, i got up and took lester outside. the air is gorgeous and soft and just the slightest bit on the chilly side. i came back upstairs and hopped into a looooong hot shower, and now i am dripping gently and catching up on my blogroll.

it's friday, which means jeans, and tomorrow i am brunching with jamaila and don, and then going up to delaware. WHERE I AM POSSIBLY RETRIEVING MY JETTA WOT WOT WOT. SO excited about that car, you have no idea. i can drive a stick-shift! ME. woooo!

who wants to go joy-riding in my spanking new[ish] v6? it'll be a short ride, because i am not made of gasoline, but joyous all the same!

also, am seeing apocalyptica in may with michael and possibly jeff. fun! haven't broken out my apo CDs in a while, and i feel i should do so to get properly in the mood. WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?

lalala fridaycakes.

okay, so i might have been melodramatic...

a good solid day of bed rest and medicinal popsicles, and i am feeling much better now, thanks. i did NOT start the antibiotics, which i am glad of, because that means i would have had to finish the entire course even though they were unnecessary, and if i hadn't, i'd be adding to the rest of the anti-biotic resistant ARSEHOLES out there.

to avoid a rant, just read this: do not use antibacterial hand-wash, lotion, or waterless sanitizer [unless its' alcohol-based]. IT DUN DO ANY GOOD.

lalala, you can tell i am feeling better when i get indignant. <3

i hart nyquil.

uuuugghhh

it gets worse and worse. i went to the doctor this afternoon, and came out with a prescription for antibiotics, which she told me to take only if i develop a fever.

then i went home and passed out for several hours. afterward, i was totally loopy and crazy. i went to the grocery store to get my prescription and some medicinal popsicles and various crunchy delicious things.

now i've got a fever and i am PATHETIC. i am loaded to the gills with nyquil. i was reading the box, and i realized i possibly shouldn't have taken any since it's only been four hours since my last dose of adderoll. then i decided i didn't care, and i can't wait to pass out again. not going into work tomorrow. staying home and hacking in bed.

*phlegm*

bring out your dead

oh god oh god i have the plague. minus buboes and, you know, death. BUT IT FEELS JUST AS BAD. and i'm here at work, because i couldn't justify staying home as i do not have a fever.

wtf, lungs?

i think i probably should have worn a more substantial coat yesterday, what with all my runnings around. last night i went to bed with a bit of a tickle in my chest, and this morning i woke hacking and groaning. now i'm drinking some detox yogi tea. i would have grabbed my Temple of Health tea, but i was rushing this morning, and forgot. also, it's loose, and i'd have had to grab a basket or even my cast-iron teapot. WHICH, by the way, is exactly the teapot that Inara has in Firefly. it's just the wee version, for one/two cups.

i blame this affliction of the respiratory system entirely on jamaila.

*pathetic look*

pearls!

if anyone out there is secretly planning to propose to me sometime soon, the chances of me saying yes are greatly improved if you use this ring.

just sayin'.

i'm not even that picky, when [if?] i get married someday i don't even need a ring, but i want that one, and i think it's sweet and darling.

lalalala

dog day.

jeff from across the street called me just as i was leaving work, asking if i wanted to go to the dog park at wyman. he was taking his roommates dog, misty, and lord knows lester needs to get out more.

so we went! it is a delightful park! we ran into an old roommate of his, who's got a FANTASTIC german shepherd rescue called Shadow. there was a hilarious little corgie zooming around who looked exactly like a bullet on her little short leggies. and there was the biggest german shepherd i have EVER SEEN. came up to mid thigh on me, and was just solid and huge. sweetest temperament, too. he knew how to play with the little ones really well, and was sweet to lester.

lester was less than impressed, but i think it did him some good on the whole, so we'll be going back for sure.

then, later, i walked down to the grocery store with michael and his jack russell terrier, finrod. finrod is a special boy, alright. he's SUPER happy to meet you, and he just LOVES you so much can he PLEASE eat yer face omg omg omg omg.

i came home and lester looked at me suspiciously before deigning to lick my foot. he's zonked out now, curled up inside a pair of my jeans.

i love dogs.

random thoughts for a cloudy monday...

people keep leaving umbrellas at my desk today. i can understand one being forgotten, but then there was a second and now a third. the second one is still wrapped in plastic, even.

i may have to make-off with the plastic-wrapped one, it's a jumbo wind-proof, and i like a big, imposing umbrella.

my friend Nina has herself a few vintage/antique umbrellas and uses them. i think that's neat; why collect something that is made to be used and then put it on a shelf? my favorite one of hers is a sharp navy and white polka-dot number with a graceful curve at the tip.

i don't even think it's raining at the moment, but i suppose one should always be ready. the only time i ever remember to carry an umbrella is if i am going to a job interview. don't ask me why, i think it is because a friend once told me i should look like i am well-prepared for such occasions. the rest of the time, i deal with the soggy hair and damp shoes. adds to my allure.

i want to be playing chess right now. weirdly. i just don't want to be working. i want to be napping. or reading. or dozing and reading. ooh, dozing, reading, and drinking a cup of tea. mmmmmmmmmmm, delicious lazy cloudy day activities. except i can't, because i am at work, and i've got to deal with all the douche-bag people that come in here.

and yet, i'm also a lot more apathetic than i used to be. i suppose.

lalala, new car-cakes. i'll be bringing the jetta down here after one more trip to delaware [the 'rents] to practice. i don't know why, but learning stick was really hard to do. i developed some kind of mental block against it, and i couldn't figure out how to get moving from a stand-still. it took the motivation of a sweet ride to break the barrier, and now i'll be able to cruise around town in my 2000 Volkswagen v6 jetta. although, there won't be much cruising, as gas is ridiculous. i foresee much shuttling to work in my future.

am reading a new science fiction series by Kage Baker. The Company. I just finished In the Garden of Iden, and it tore my heart neatly out and danced around on it for a while. achingly beautiful writing. the descriptions were delicious, and the character development perfect. Mendoza's transformation from jaded naivete to bliss to heartbroken back to jaded is astounding in its perfect reality and believability.

pffffft.

i don't know. i just don't know. i've been feeling restless lately. i went to california for a week, but that didn't scratch it. i cut my hair, but i still feel charged. like i should start running and see where i end up. this is a bad plan while living in the city, because the problem is, i don't know where i would end up. baltimore is filled with places that you really don't want to end up.

but i feel like i've got to do something. i've got lots of ideas swimming around in my head. ideas for stories and maybe screenplays. i can't get any of them out, though. i'll get a few lines, or even paragraphs, and then all i can do is just imagine where it will go, but the words won't work. i think best when i can talk things out, but i hate to just chatter at people.

isn't the adderoll supposed to be helping this? i know why it isn't. i take it at work, and then i can't write because i'm meant to be working. i don't want to take it on the weekends, i don't want to be dependent.

i don't know. i just don't know.

transitions and such...

i made it to and from californiyaye safely. photos to follow eventually. there was a joyous reunion with mah dogg [see previous post] in the airport whilst waiting for my luggage. bizzy said she enjoyed walking him in past a whole lot of people. :D

then i zoomed up to delaware yesterday to say goodbye to my sister. she and her husband are leaving for portland tomorrow with all of their things crammed [rather spaciously] into a truck. there were many tears. i love my sister very very much, and i am going to miss her like the dickens.

this just means i will have to save up lots and lots and go to portland at every opportunity. silver-lining and all.

good things:

my dad sent me home with a huge sack of books, and they are calling my name. i think i shall have an early night in bed with literature. i started an unfinished life by mark spragg, and am about three-quarters of the way through. it is amazing and delightful, and i absolutely love it. more on it later, when i am finished.

my mother sent me home with a huge sack of food. lunch for the rest of my life homg! my brother-in-law's grandmother makes the most fantastic pound cake to ever pound, and i think i shall have a piece with some tea. :D

my dog is fluffy and loves me, and i love him.

my sister still lives in the US, so that immediately makes her more accessible than if she lived in guam or something. right. i must try not to cry every minute.

bad things:

i will not post bad things, because to dwell is to be a wallower, which i refuse to be. i am not called a life-bomb for nothing!

okay!

lalala there will be more here soon, i promise!

here is a placeholder: